RECOVERY REALITIES...

Its two and a half years after cancer treatment ended, and I find I’m still recovering.  I wanted to share these realities so that others might understand more of the process that one goes through.  Maybe if you’re coping with cancer treatment yourself, you’ll be encouraged to take a breath and extend grace to yourselfJ  And, maybe if you’re an onlooker of someone elses cancer treatment, you will be able to prepare yourself for the longhaulJ 

With my very own superhero

Our Lord Jesus is faithful through it all.  I can look back and see His fingerprints along the way (even the hard days)…  His grace to endure…  His softening of the difficulites… His demonstration of His love in miraculous and practical ways… even His reminder from time to time, that I’m not the only one facing a giant.  His gentle reminder to give Him the glory no matter the journey is a constant lesson.

I imagine that it might seem to folks not living with me, that I’ve been in a good place physically for quite a while.  In reality I’m still recovering.  The 2 big physical things for me have been fatigue and pain.

A year out from treatment, I was still needing to nap for a hour every day and was out for the day by just after 7pm.  This wasn’t laziness, it was physical exhaustion.  I share that, because I felt I was being lazy.  Looking back, I had to rest in order to cope with my responsibilities to my family.  Life goes on no matter…  I had to homeschool, cook, wash etc.  We had to carry on living.  This meant that I fell asleep while the family watched a movie together.  I couldn’t go to the shops for longer than a half an hour.  I had to sleep after I did anything physical… like water the garden.  I could also phsyicall cope with little while homeschooling.  It has slowly improved to the point that now, 2 and half years out from treatment, I am only needing to lie down a couple of times a week and most of the time can hang in there at night with the rest of the family.  I anticipate further improvement in the months aheadJ

Rythmic gymnastics has been central in my daughters life and coping

 I developed hip pain toward the end of my 2^nd course of chemo.  No real cause was found… we were just thankful at that point it wasn’t cancerJ  But these symptoms steadily worsened to the point of waking me at night.  A physio, specializing in oncology, diagnosed the problem…  decreasing activity had led to poor muscular support of my spine, causing the muscles in the rest of my body (hips especially) to try and compensate to support it.  This led to decreased mobility, range of motion and constant discomfort.  Functionally I was unable to cook an evening meal without lying down at least 2 times because of pain (and fatigue of course).  After a course of physio, she had me see a pilates trainer once a week.  My sessions were eventually lengthened and upgraded.  It has been life changing.  I have no more pain and again can sit on the ground.  I can even go shopping with my children and come home to cook a meal.  I still need to maintain the range of motion in my hips (but I now do my streatches every few days rather than 3 to 4 times a day like 6 months ago). 

Its funny because so often I remember responding to people questions with … ‘I’m almost back to normal’…  “I’m feeling better than I have in ages’.  They were all true.  I just wasn’t aware of how far I still had to go.  And, from where I’d come… boy was I soooooo much better. 

My son has enjoyed his art lessons over these last years

I would not change any of the choices I made regarding my treatment.  The reality of cancer treatment and recovery is that its LONG, SLOW … but DO-ABLE.  Amazingly, one is able, with the Lords help, to find the joy of living even when your body is not working quite up to speed.  I’m not ‘there’ yet but I’m encouraged with the progress the Lord has allowed my body.  I also want to acknowledge the many people who have supported and assisted me and my family.  I am unable to do this alone.  Its not easy feeling so needy for so long.  It has been a humbling time.  Thank you Lord for your many lessons.  But, thank you most of all for the strength and encouragement you are providing day by day. 

If you, or anyone you know, are looking for a physio and Pilates instructor in the Durban area, please don’t hesitate in contacting me.