The kids and I at Stratford-on-Avon, Shakespears birthplace.My oncologist, DrPillay, last week gave us the final go-ahead to travel. So here we are in the UK... :) She was so pleased with how well I seem to be recovering from the chemo and radiation treatments. She talked about how important it is to have a positive attitude. I got to thinking about the third chemo I had... how I had 'fought' it as it went into my body and told her how badly I struggled with side effects after it. I realised that day that I had to submit. I had to submit my treatment into His mighty hands. I had to submit and 'welcome' the chemo so that He could use it to fight the cancer cells. When I did that, the side effects were much milder.
Its a control thing really I suppose... Essentially I have no control over what happens with the cancer. I cannot keep it at bay or cause it to grow. Its not in my hands... its in His. Just like Job in chapter 3 realised that He had to accept bad and good things from the Lord (not from the enermy, even altho he is the one the Lord allows to cause the pain and suffering...), so I too had to accept His best for me in this period of cancer treatment. By earthly standards, how can we accept cancer as His best. But, He knows what he is allowing into our lives and for what purpose. No matter how painful, we need to submit, accept it and allow Him to use it in our, and others, lives... to show us Himself in the midst of the pain. In His grace, He allows this to be a process.
Submitting my control, giving Him control. Then taking control over that which I could control... my attitude, my focus and my plans. Welcoming the chemo, facing the reality of cancer and daily giving my loved ones to the Lord has allowed me to experiance His peace and His strengthening in new ways (even through tears).
Jesus is there each step of the way. Holding us when all we want to do is fall... Giving us courage, when our hearts want to hide... Hiding the future from us, so that we can live today...
Praise His wonderful name.
Hello Barb,
ReplyDeleteHere I am, I am following your blog now. It was a joy to meet you yesterday, I look forward to seeing our photo that you took. I am going to try and put a link on my blog later for yours, as Margaret and others would like to click on to it.
See you at the weekend - God Bless - Nita
A blog friend shared your victories and journey with me and encouraged me to come on and intro myself...well, here I am "Rhonda" from The Joy of Denim and Lace blog....I agree 110% Jesus is there every step we take, regardless if it is blindness, cancer, or death of an oldest son, or divorce...He will never leave us nor forsake us...isn't He awesome!
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