NOT THE ENERMY

Getting chemo at the Durban Oncology Centre.

My hair didn't fall our like expected this second chemo, its actually growing back curly :)

“Everyone here looks so well’, is what Sheila said as she and Dennis (friends from the UK) sat with me at chemo. That has been my experience of chemo and radiation. Its just not like I expected. Its not like I’d seen on the movies.

This is not to diminish the serious treatment it is, or the many side effects (some of which are not too pleasant). The medical staff also do so much to control the side effects even before they start… I’ve learned that I NEED the chemo. It’s one of the things the Lord can use to kill the cancer cells in my body. So on a level I’ve had to learn to accept it into my body. I’ve had to learn to ‘welcome’ it so it can do its job. Negative talk about it, I’ve found, very unhelpful in that process.

Its been good to have friends ready to remind me when I’m feeling bad, that’s it’s the effects of the chemo making me feel that way, not the cancer. And, that I need the chemo to do its work, with encouragement and prayers to be able to endure and get through.

This journey of chemo has been a long one (its almost a year since I got my cancer diagnosis). Its been a challenging one. At times its felt quite unbearable, as I’ve come to the end of myself. But its also been a journey of knowing the Lords peace at times when peace doesn’t make sense. Its been a time of understanding truly that our lives are not in our hands. Its been a time of realizing that I cannot make plans for the future but need to focus on making the most of now. This is a truth that is true for all of us, but one which we’ve had to grapple with daily in a very real way.

Pray we’d learn how to take one day at a time.

Pray Jesus would receive praise even as we are so weak.